For those who have found out they have an unfaithful partner, there is plenty of pain as they sort through the events. Few of them will recover instantly, and many often wonder why it happened to them. They look at their life and see that they worked hard to be the best partner possible, so there is no reason to believe they deserved this fate. They are looking for a reason that has to do with their behavior, but it is often a need to feel powerful on the part of the cheater.
Control or lack of it has become a recognized part of how relationships between a couple works, but there are many subtleties that go unseen in everyday life. Part of cheating is the need to feel in control of something, and getting away with it or fooling a partner gives the unfaithful one a chance to feel they are the master of their world. This applies to men as well as to women, and it should be recognized that, while they tend to do it less, women do cheat on their partners.
Power has always been seductive to people, and few of them in the modern world feel they have any at all. Their lives are often controlled by others at work and in the outside world, and a person who feels this lack does not always turn to their partner. They see it as an admission that they are weak and need help, so they turn to other outlets, such as cheating, to feel powerful and in control. Getting away with it once simply encourages them to continue their behavior.
The world has become highly regulated, and many people feel a loss of control over their lives. They feel powerless when faced with many situations that involve society and its rules, so they seek smaller ways to gain power and control. Cheating on a significant other is just one way to feel in control, but the price might be too high.